Couples Counseling

Do You and Your Partner Need Couples Counseling?

• Are you wondering if couples counseling can help you?
• Are you wanting a better relationship with each other and just not sure how to get there?
• Are you fighting with each other yet finding no resolution?
• Do you ever go to bed angry?
• Do you find it challenging to say what you really want to say?

It Is Not Unusual For Couples to Face Challenges

It is unrealistic to think that a relationship will never have conflicts. Approximately one out of two marriages end in divorce in the United States. You are by no means alone in the challenges you are facing right now. It is not so much that conflicts happen; we all face them at one time or another in our relationships. Rather, it is more about how you handle them when they arise. The good news is that with couples counseling and the help of a compassionate, skilled couples counselor you have a good chance of resolving the issues that are getting in between you so that you can actually start enjoying your relationship again.

Here’s How Couples Counseling Can Help You

My name is Dan Kendrick and I am a counselor in Longmont, Colorado.  One of my specialties is couples and relationship counseling.  If you are like many couples when they first come to see me, you may find yourselves being challenged by what is happening right now in your relationship. You may be experiencing feelings of hurt, anger, disappointment, irritation, confusion or nothing at all. You may be up against a conflict that seems to be irresolvable in your eyes.

In our first couples therapy session, I will ask each of you to share about what you have been experiencing. Sometimes couples are having a hard time because they are not really hearing what the other is saying. I provide a safe space so that each of you will be comfortable in sharing, knowing you will be truly heard without judgement. When needed, I will provide coaching for each of you in listening to and actually hearing what the other is saying.

I also maintain a neutral space for both of you to share. My goal is not to change you or to save or not save your relationship. That is your department. You make those decisions. I will encourage each of you to be yourselves and to really hear each other out. Quite often, because of the hectic lives we live, we can lose track of ourselves and each other without even knowing how it happened.  Couples counseling will give you the opportunity to re-connect with yourself and your partner. That re-connection process in itself can be very healing and can often allow the loving you have for yourself and your partner to emerge in a greater way. There is really no substitute for loving in a relationship. Any decisions you make as a couple about your future relationship will come out just fine as long as they are based in loving.

I am trained in a number of therapeutic modalities such as Compassionate Communication, Heart Centered Listening, Focusing, Gestalt, Person Centered Therapy, Mediation Counseling and others. I learned many skills that are absolutely essential for maintaining healthy relationships from Dr.’s Ron and Mary Hulnick, who founded the University of Santa Monica (USM) where I graduated with a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology. Not only did I learn the academics, but I also witnessed a living demonstration of what a good relationship looks like by observing Ron and Mary while I was getting my degree. I married Kate, my wife now for some 22 years, shortly after graduating from USM. I have tested all of my skills in the laboratory of life with my wife, who is also a psychotherapist. We have done a lot of learning and growing together since we have been married, and it continues to this day. The good news is that you can now use all of my couples counseling skills and my first-hand relationship experience to your advantage.

Getting Past That “Stuck” Place Through Couples Counseling

Perhaps you are considering couples therapy because you find yourselves in a stuck place and aren’t quite sure how to get out of it. It may be hard to see now, but “stuck places” can actually be opportunities in disguise. The truth is, relationships can be one of the best places on planet earth to learn and grow. Yet it can be almost impossible to see opportunities to learn and grow in the face of what looks like insurmountable problems. At least part of what I do with you is to help each of you identify your opportunity for learning and growth that is being presented to you now through the situation you face in your relationship. Once you have identified your opportunity, then I can show you some action steps you can take that will lead you out of that stuck place and get things flowing again. I can actually show you how that “stuck place” is really serving you and how it can be used as a stepping stone into a life of greater fulfillment for both of you.

The tendency in couples is to blame the other person for the problems that are showing up. If blaming the other person worked, few couples would ever need help. The truth is, things will most likely not change until each partner in the relationship takes personal responsibility for themselves and the relationship. I can show you how, but only you can make the decision to take personal responsibility. I know that can be a challenging step to take. It takes courage. But the payoff for doing so is tremendous. The good news is that I am here to support you every step of the way. Chances are I have been through what you are going through or something very similar. We can walk through this process together until you get where you want to go.

Frequently Asked Questions and Answers About Couples Counseling

Neither of us has ever been to couples counseling before and we are skeptical. How do we know it is going to work?

I can understand your reluctance, especially since you have never been to couples therapy before. Obviously, you won’t know what is there for you if you have never been. So I offer my potential new clients a free 30 minute initial consultation. This free offer gives you a no obligation way to put your toe in the water and see how it feels. By the time you are done with the consultation, I think you will have a lot better idea if you want to try a session to see how it works. If you decide to give couples counseling a try, you can stop at any time in the process that you choose.

I don’t think that my partner will come in for couples counseling. If that is the case, then what can I do?

Feel free to come in without your partner. You can get a lot of work done on your own. Some couples actually choose to see separate counselors and work their process that way. And there is a good chance your partner will also benefit from the work you do.

How can I know that couples counseling is worth the time and money we will spend ?

The only way you will know whether couples therapy is worth it or not is to begin and see what results you get. With couples therapy, like most everything else, “the proof is in the pudding.” Assuming it works for you, you can see it as an investment in yourself and in your relationship that could pay big dividends for a long time to come.  Feel free to call me at 303 485-9086 for a free, no obligation thirty minute phone consultation where you can ask me more questions about my practice and how relationship counseling can work for you.