Relationship Counseling

Have You Been Searching, Without Success, To Find The Person That Is Right For You?

Do you despair of ever finding the right person?

Are you caught in the cycle of serial relationships?

Do you find it hard to be yourself around someone you find attractive?

Do you avoid commitment for fear of losing your independence?

Does your fear of being rejected keep you from reaching out as much as you would like?

Many People Are in the Same Boat

You are not alone in your struggle to find the right person.  There are a lot of people these days who are wanting to find a good relationship.  But how?  Many of us have been taught the skills for making a living, but how many relationships skills did you learn in school?  How do you attract the person that is right for you?  That’s where I can help.  Through relationship counseling you can learn those skills you may have missed growing up.  And once you have learned good relationship skills, your chances for landing the relationship that you really want will greatly increase.

Relationship Counseling Can Help You:

Have more confidence in yourself.

Dissolve the things that are blocking you from having a successful relationship.

Learn good communication skills.

Overcome the fear of rejection.

Enjoy and appreciate being with yourself, whether you are with someone else or not. And much more.

Here’s How

In our sessions together, I will ask you to share with me what some of your dating experience has been like in the past and some of the more challenging issues around relationships that has come up for you. We’ll look to see what you have done that has worked and what you have done that has not worked. We’ll identify your strengths in this area and some of the weaknesses that you would like to improve on. Quite often, communication shows up as a weak link in relationships. I have been trained in Compassionate Communication. I can teach you communication skills that will improve your connection to whoever you are relating to at any given time.

Quite often we have wounds from past relationships that didn’t work out. Unhealed wounds from the past can interfere with present relationships. Being afraid of getting hurt again, whether it is conscious or unconscious, can block you from going for the relationship you really want. I can help you heal any memories of the past that may be blocking you.

Because of your past experience, you may doubt that finding the right relationship is even possible for you. Maybe your parents divorced and were poor role models. It is hard to see yourself in a healthy relationship when you have yet to experience what that is like. In our relationship counseling sessions, I can work with you through positive visualization and the process of helping you develop an Ideal Scene so that you become clear about the kind of relationship that you want.

What is a Solid Foundation For a Relationship?

The romantic ideal is alive and well in our society. But is that a foundation that will support a healthy relationship over time? If it was, we would not have an over 50% divorce rate today. Any relationship that is based upon an illusion will not last long. However, a relationship that is based on the reality of unconditional loving and honesty and that is serving the purpose of growth and learning for each partner can last a lifetime.

You Can Use My Training and First-Hand Experience to Your Advantage

I have been involved in a conscious relationship with my wife Kate for over 22 years now. I have honed my relationship skills in the laboratory of life. We both decided at the beginning that we would use our relationship together to learn and grow. And that is exactly what we have been doing together for all of these years and it continues to this day. There is no substitute for loving yourself and your partner unconditionally. And there is no form quite so suited to learn unconditional loving than a committed ongoing relationship with another person.

I also received my Master’s Degree in Applied Psychology from the University of Santa Monica, which was founded by Dr.’s Ron and Mary Hulnick. In addition to all of the therapeutic modalities I learned, I was very fortunate to be around Ron and Mary, who had a wealth of information to share about how to have really good relationships. I watched them model great relationship skills over and over again. I credit what I learned there as laying the foundation for the marriage I have today and for equipping me in my counseling practice to effectively help others with their relationships.

Because of my training and experience, I can act as a mentor for you as you discover what you want in a relationship, release the things that may be blocking you from success, and develop your own skills. If you are already dating someone, you can use our sessions together to overcome any challenges you may be facing or to develop strategies that can take your relationship to the next level.

Questions and Answers

I find myself torn. Part of me wants intimacy and part of me is scared to death of even the thought of getting too close to someone. Can your approach to dating counseling help me?

Quite possibly. The part of you that is afraid of intimacy could be a good place to start in the therapeutic process. I am guessing that there is a good reason for you being scared. It would be wise to pay attention to that part of yourself and listen to what it is wanting to tell you so that you can address it’s concerns. Perhaps it is wanting more support and to get closer to you before it is willing to venture out and become close with another person. Quite often, the best way to improve a relationship with another person is to first improve the relationship you have with yourself. This is something we could address in our sessions together.

I tend to lose myself in relationships. How can you help me?

I have dealt with that same challenge. You may be a person who is on the more sensitive side, which means you pick up more easily on how others are feeling. If that is the case, you could easily lose track of yourself as you relate to another. The challenge for you would be to learn to stand strong in your sensitivity. A relationship can be a great place to learn that skill and I can share with you from my own experience about things you might do to grow in that area.